Our regulars arrived:
Ernest (ex-felon) and Laura (developmentally disabled, lives in a nursing home),
Don(senior served in Korea) from the Catholic Worker
Surprise Mary Kay and Patricia arrived-said they couldn't go camping because of the weather.
Carl came in and left-does the same routine every week.
Another gentleman came in stayed a while, then left.
Carol BVM was back from Africa after a month.
A real surprise, Renny Goldman, not sure of her order, hadn't seen her since last fall, she winters in AZ arrived. She is a published poet, very interested in SA/CA justice issues.
Then 2 women, African American and maybe her adult daughter. I never got their relationship.
Sr. Bernie lawyer for immigrant rights.
Erin-8th Day Center for Justice
and myself as presider.
There was a lot of movement in and out of the circle of worship. I cannot believe how much I am at peace with it all. It is in "the hands of God" I am not oblivious, but more and more "I trust that Godde is in charge" and let "Godde be" I really don't preside, we all do. I oversee the flow of the prayers but Godde truly is in charge.
The gospel was the story from Jesus of building our home on sand or a solid foundation. As I had just read an article about PTSD and healing our soldiers and ourselves I substituted quotes from the article for the second reading.
A reading from the article “Heal the Warrior, Heal the Country: Breaking the Cycle of War Making” by Dr. Edward Tick. (“Yes” magazine, Summer 2008)
The Warrior’s Path
Throughout history, the only reason for fighting that has survived moral scrutiny is a direct attack with real immediate threat to one’s people. PTSD is, in part, the tortured conscience of good people who did their best under conditions that would dehumanize anyone.
War abroad foster war at home. When we go to war, we inevitably bring its violence and horror back to our homes and streets. We cannot help it…war echoes down the generations. Known or hidden, we all carry the wounds of war…When a veteran has PTSD, his or her entire family and community are inevitably affected. The individual symptoms of PTSD-sleep disturbances, substance abuse, depression, and problems with intimacy, employment and authority—are the same symptoms that are epidemic in our society. When we take a close and unprotected look, we see: We are a nation and a planet of wounded warriors, their offspring, and their neighbors.
The severity and extent to which veterans suffer with PTSD is a direct response to our culture’s blindness about war’s true cost. PTSD is the expression of the anguish, dislocation, and rage of the self as it attempts to cope with its loss of innocence, reformulate a new personal identity and cultural role, and awaken from massive denial… We can better understand PTSD as an identity disorder and soul wound rather than a stress and anxiety disorder, as it is presently classified.
Warriors in traditional societies served the need for protection, and all that was done was done in the tribe’s name. They had rituals transferring responsibility for actions during warfare from veterans to the entire culture. Ultimately leaders, not ordinary troops, were held responsible for the results of the battle and the deaths that occurred.
Our veterans cannot heal unless society accepts responsibility for its war making. To the veterans, our leaders and people must say, “You did this in our name, because you were subject to our orders, and because we put you in untenable and even atrocity-producing situations. We lift the burden of your actions from you and take it onto our shoulders. We are responsible for you, for what you did, and for the consequences.”
We cannot heal from war without involving the entire community and society, and without invoking transpersonal help. We must develop modern rituals that acknowledge the additional wounds caused by war fought for non-defense reasons.
When we return to our veterans their silenced voices, when we accept our true responsibility as individuals and communities, we will no longer see war as an adventure or a legitimate tool of power politics.
I began the homily with this reflection:
Today’s Gospel reminds us that we best find and use a solid foundation for our house. I have brought the brick to concretize a “solid foundation.” Today we understand “House” in psychological terms that is the metaphor for the total human person, the self, myself, ourselves. Jesus calls us fools if we do not build our house, ourselves on solid ground. Jesus is saying “We create the solid ground by basing our actions on what Jesus has taught, not culture, media, politicians, not family, not even church.”
The first reading addresses the same theme, set this time in the context of the Hebrew testament-obedience to the law, the Torah. The Jewish people are told to follow the commandments and enjoy a blessing, turn away and be subject to a curse. The people are told not “to follow other gods.”
I argue that the
How is this storm and ruin coming about?
The latest facts concerning our soldiers is that 120
As a nation we can build again on solid ground by accepting what our soldiers have done in our name and joining with them in the process of healing. We will help them choose a blessing not a curse and we shall be healed as persons, communities and a nation.
In our time and place we must choose: either a blessing or a curse. To follow Jesus or be subject to “complete ruin.” Let us choose life! Let us say “Yes to following the Way of Jesus.” Let us build our homes on solid ground.
End of my reflection starter
I asked the folks in the circle to turn to a neighbor and share their reactions/challenges/insights from what they had just heard. I turned to the woman on my right. She was probably in her 40's, teeth and gums in very poor condition but she was clean, with hair straightened. Her hands were misshapen, most likely with arthritis. I'll call her "Mary" to protect her privacy. Mary said, "Your words were so powerful. I didn't know this (about PTSD)" She had raised two nephews both now serving in the Army, one in Iraq his second tour. Mary talked about raising him and how when he was told he was going to Iraq called her and cried, "I am afraid." She told him "Be a man" and my heart broke (I did not tell her about Jason). I offered her support. Mary said when her nephew came home from Iraq he would awake screaming, when she would ask "Why?" he would reply, "I saw so many people be killed. I am okay." My heart broke again. With PTSD he has returned to Iraq.
We all shared our reflections and continued the service. After we stood in a circle, holding hands and saying the "Our Mother, our father..." together, Mary spoke again. "I am terminally ill. I am being placed in hospice this week." Even for our worship community, this was an announcement of some importance. Silence filled the room. Patricia and Mary Kay are both social workers-long time. They began to gently ask probing questions to see if Mary was on the street or had a place. She has a place. When I hugged Mary during the sign of peace, I asked, "Mary would you permit us to pray for you?" She agreed.After communion, Mary stood in the center by our altar table and we each placed our hand on her or on another who was touching her. I began, "Loving God, heal Mary in mind, body and Spirit. We know that you want wholeness for her. May she receive all the support she needs in the coming time." Many others offered prayers for her support and comfort and peace and healing. We told her to come back and worship with us anytime. Mary was thankful for our care and concern for her.
I am so thankful for this Roman Catholic community of worship. It has been a blessing in my life. I have grown so much within this community and by their example of compassion for each other and for the world. Truly when we gather it is Sacred Ground. I felt so deep peace this morning and even yesterday as I prepared the service. The more "I let go and let Godde," the more I am at peace.
I know at the deepest part of my soul that human living is a spiritual journey first. We are each called to take a part in evolving humanity beyond who we are now. I do believe Teilhard de Chardin. We are to evolve into the image of God presented to us in Jesus. It is enough for me to have finally stood up to the emotional/spiritual abuse of Dow's ignorance. I feel that I have completed the task set out for my life.I only pray that my children reach consciousness before they are told like Mary, "It is time for hospice." Lisa is on her way via family life. Jason I think has mountains to climb before he is healed. I hold him in my heart.
After Liturgy:
I had to go to the grocery store to get some food as I needed to make a dish for 3 bean stew to take to a 50th birthday potluck. As I was walking the aisles, I felt the anxiety that I connect with Dow. What a change in the force field/emotional field 30 years of anxiety can do. I thought, "Is Dow or Jason shopping? Am I going to meet them?" I walked into an aisle and there was Sue a neighbor that lives in our condo building. I had presided at her father's funeral earlier this year. We said, "Hello" and then I said, "Sue, I have to ask a personal question, have you seen Jason?" I had not been told but assumed that Jason was living with Dow during his internship in Chicago.
Sue replied, "I have seen Jason a couple of times. Once in a suit (she looked surprised at this) and once "as if he had been out for a hike." Sue had talked to Dow and he told her that the internship in Orlando didn't work out. Dow had asked Jodi, Jason's girlfriend, "Will you take him back?" Jodi replied "Yes" so Dow "let" Jason come. Sue said, "Jason looks good." I was so glad to hear Sue's report even as my heart breaks to have Jason so close yet on the "other side of the moon."
Dow is planning on going to Idaho from 6/6 to 6/15. (I was surprised at this because I thought Lisa and family were going with Dow, but now I don't think so as Lisa did not tell me this. I think she would.) Sadly, that is what attracted me to Dow-his pictures of Idaho. I thought we would move there after being married. Dow never went back until his mother was in a nursing home. I know he went back last year, took the grandkids camping. Not sure what is happening this year.
After our conversation, my "anxiety" or heightened awareness dissipated immediately. I find it very interesting that this "energy field disturbance" takes place and I can feel it. It expands beyond Dow and Jason now to those who interact with them. Consciousness is so much more than what we understand. Or the range of feelings and energy is greater than we understand. I do not know, I only experience it. Sue said, "Stay in touch, I love you." And I felt blessed by her friendship. I told her that Jason and I had not talked. She seemed to know that and offered, "Maybe I will be devil's advocate and ask him if I get the opportunity, "Have you seen your mom while you have been in town? See what he replies."
Part of me thinks that Jason was "brought to Chicago" to "address our relationship" I do not know, I only feel it. I certainly know it is part of his healing process.
Peace everyone
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