While I Wait for a New Court Date

Two weekends ago I was in Lexington KY to participate in an ordination of friend as a Roman Catholic Woman Priest. See RCWP.org for the organization. The Sunday after the ordination of Janice, one of the woman had heard from a drummer at the ordination that a group met weekly at 6PM to Drum for Peace. So off we went to a park. Janice and I gave the drums a try. I had never seen a drum circle like this one.

A woman sexually dressed (pretty much showing her breasts and belly) "belly danced" to the drums. Another carried burning balls on the end of chains. Another woman used the streamer at the end of a stick (like they do in the Olympics) All this was free flowing, in and out of the circle. It was fun but because of the arthritis in my hands I could not beat the drums too long. The folks who organize it said that sometimes up to 200 folks come out to listen, dance, drum. What a very neat way to spend a summer evening.

Then the court disaster on Thursday.

What is surprising is what happened on this past Sunday. The local Catholic Worker House was going to take a ride on the "L" having a "L table" instead of their monthly round table discussion of a peace and justice topic. No one had prepared any kind of data on mass transportation. I also found out that it was to get everyone into the cool air conditioned train car as the CWH doesn't have air. They had packed a dinner of grilled cheese sandwiches and Pecan Sandie cookies, small ones with some kind of icing in the middle. We shared them with the other riders on the train, most everyone said, "Thanks" and took a couple.

We also read a flyer that had been given out all weekend at the Air & Water show which millions come to Chicago to see. Being from the CWH, the flyer is anti military recruitment which is what the A&W is: a glorification of all things military. So our trip on the red/brown line around the loop only took an hour. One of the men was lobbying for us to go out to the burbs. When we were done, I agreed with him as our ride was "too short."

When we returned to the house, most of the folks decided to stay there. However, Erin invited me to go to...a drum circle! I couldn't believe it! It seems that a group of drummers meets on the Lake Shore across from Argyle (if you know Chicago) on each full moon from May to October. Being Chicago the circle was much larger and the "flaming" entertainment was much more, more...flaming.

I would say over the course of the hour that Erin and I were there, about 20 different folks used the flaming torches (I don't know what to call them. See Spunn.com on the web.) The torches on a chain come in all different versions. One was a large hula loop with about 8 torches mounted on it. A woman used that one. Flames at the end of chains, one in each hand. Flames at the end of battens, some 2 feet long, some 6 feet. Flames in a sheet, one for each hand (I really don't know what that looked like not burning) but it looked as if he was twirling ribbons of flame. One man had a bola about 6 feet long and he threw it up in the air and caught it. People used them as the rolled on the ground. Even had a couple of women dressed in belly dancing costumes. All the spangles sparkled in the fire's reflection. It was amazing! Even had a flame swallower. They use tiki torch oil. (Yech it would make me retch if I tried it). One of the men said, "The ball is made of Kevlar!" yup the same stuff used in body armor, then soaked in a fireant. They light the torches with a small blowtorch. Not for the faint hearted. Every Thursday night they have practice! So join them if you are so inclined!

Beside the drums the Chicago group also had, I am sure, an improvisation of instruments who sort just played to the beat of the drums!

I thought this is one show I am not taking pictures of for the grand kids. I am sure they would "jump on the idea!" They are boys heading for 12 and 11.

I had a call into my lawyer-gone this week. Caught him for minute. "Can't I file a complaint?" Gordon "It is not worth it, it would be lawyer against lawyer argument" at this moment. "Let's get the divorce finished." I thought "Good idea, why did it take you so long to think of it?" Gordon makes more in one hour than I do in a full day of being a chaplain for hospice. He did promise the name/address of the IL Bar Assoc. so I can file a report on her unprofessional behavior. I also want to send a copy to the judge we go before, Delgado is his name.

I thought "My marriage was emotional and spiritual chaos, why should it end in an orderly fashion?" I do believe Dow chose a lawyer like himself, therefore, all kind of acting out especially passive-aggressive behavior. I got my 2nd maintenance check today of 120 total. I am trying to pay down the credit card debt. I hope to be able to pay about $3000 on it this month. Then I will pay the lawyer, actually he takes his money off the top before I get my settlement check from Dow. Then I have to put away dollars to pay the taxes on the monthly check as it is pre-tax for Dow which really upsets me.

During therapy this month I was fighting "the creature of ignorance" again during a guided meditation. It is from a dream I had about 6 years ago. Mine and Dow's ignorance is at the core of our relationship. So ignorant we were of hidden feelings and hidden motives that our son almost lost his life.

I must work on freeing myself from this battle. I thought I had when I filed for divorce but obviously the image/energy is still active. I told Jason and Dow at bedside while Jason was at Walter Reed that "I want peace." I need peace both in my inner and outer life. Much healing work still needs to be done. Pray for each of us, I will pray for you.