Today the Divorce? Not so Fast

This is an email I sent to my friends and family:

Dear Family
I ask that you keep me in your thoughts and prayers.
Pray for strength, courage and wisdom for me.

Today the Judge was to grant me a divorce from my marriage of 32 years.
The divorce has been in process for almost 2 years.
I am deeply in debt from the process to lawyer and credit card.

Dow returned from Australia this past Monday.
My lawyer called Dow’s lawyer this week and was assured “all was well and papers prepared.”

Esq Gordon and I arrived at the court in the Daley Center in downtown Chicago at promptly 9AM. Neither Dow’s lawyer, Dow nor documents were present. Another lawyer from Dow’s lawyer’s office was present. She knew absolutely nothing about the court date today. She contacted Dow’s lawyer who messengered the documents over. They probably arrived by 9:30.

However, we were informed that Dow did not agree to the terms of the settlement. He is requiring updated information on the retirement accounts. The lawyer from Dow’s office talked to his lawyer. I don’t think that my lawyer ever talked to her. We waited, and waited. Finally about 10:45 my lawyer dismissed me saying, “We must provide the documents as requested by Dow.”

No date has been set for the next appointment with the judge.

I feel as crushed, abused, emotionally and spiritually battered as I did when I walked into Walter Reed almost 3 years ago. I am powerless and a non-entity, just like at Walter Reed. I lost a day’s ministry because there is no way I can offer support to hospice patients and their families today.
Katy with a heavy heart and many tears

This is the email that I sent to my lawyer after I thought about this horrifying experience:

Katy I am so very sorry! My heart goes out to you. I think before the next court date your lawyer needs to call Dow's lawyer to make sure you are both on the same page as far as court date & time & documents needed to proceed.

Scott (my lawyer's name),
This is from a friend of mine who went through a divorce. I refuse to go to court again unless you have in hand all documents, etc. signed. She can have them delivered to you the day before court.

I spent your fees today and lost a day's work because of the morning's emotional toll on me. Solely because of Dow's behavior and his lawyer's complicity in his behavior. She didn’t even have the decency to call you last night and tell you Dow’s demands so we could cancel this morning. Can you bill Dow for your fees and my lost wages?

I see no reason for either of us to encourage a repeat of Dow's abuse of either you or I. We need to stop his out of control behavior. That is why I am getting a divorce to end my participation in it.
Katy