Dow's Motto: Don't Get Mad, Get Even

My problem is "I don't know what Dow is mad about and why he feels he must get even?"

I am sure you have read about my entry about how neither Dow nor his lawyer nor the signed documents showed up in court on what I had been told was the day "For the divorce to be finalized by the judge." (See August 14/15 blog entry.)

I got the traumatic shock of my life today. I can say it was my intuition or my guardian angel. I am going off to protest for peace at the RNC in MN. For the last couple of days my intuition has been tugging at my mind, "you need more money for the trip." Now I always check my balance when I use the ATM machine. On the way to my first hospice visit this morning, I almost miss the bank, but I recover and head to the machine. Take out the money and ask for a balance.

When I read it my heart drops, "Whoa, $2500 less than what I thought I had!" Now I don't run million dollar balances, so I immediately begin to panic. I used that money to pay my rent for September and try to pay down some of the godawful balance I have on my Visa card. 18 months of living on $2500 a month has ended up in huge deficits for me.

$%@ I thought what is going on? I call the bank in a panic. I wend my way through a perk voice tree which I am not in any mood for and reach a real person. He makes me do the identification drill and I assume gets my account on the screen. "I need you to speak to another person." He puts me on hold and I sit in my car. &*@$# I was trying to do this on the way to visit another patient. I wait and wait, decide I can do better. Hang up and call back hoping to get another person who may be more user friendly!

A woman's voices takes me through the ID drill again, reaches the same conclusion. I beg her not to put me on hold as I was left "literally hanging" from the last call. She promises she won't but transfers me to a woman who handles returned checks in deposits. Quite nicely, but very firmly, she informs me that the check has been returned because "Dow Scott placed a stop-payment on it. I sent you a notice, didn't you receive it?" (I found it later when I got home at 8PM tonight after a very long day on the road.) I couldn't believe it!! In shock, I ask, "Do you think I should call my lawyer?" She calmly replies, "I think you should do that."

I hang up and sit there reeling, "My rent check is going to bounce, my payments for insurance, utilities everything is going to bounce!" I call my lawyer immediately, Godde is good, as I get a human person instead of VM. I begin shakily, "Scott, Dow stopped payment on my maintenance check!" I break into tears. "I'll call his lawyer."

In a few minutes, Scott calls me back. Dow and his lawyer met last week. Dow informed her that he had stopped the check. To the woman's credit she told Dow she needed a check immediately. He wrote her one for the payment. Ms Avery informed my lawyer today "I have the check I will bring to court." Scott said, "No, my client needs the money NOW." So Dow's lawyer said, "I will put the check in the mail today." (Famous last line you have heard before)

Now we all know that I am going out of town, Monday is a holiday and the law requires that she send the check to my lawyer who is also out of town next week. So I will get the check... your guess. I spend the rest of the day as "basket case Exhibit 2" #1 being on the 14th when they didn't show up.

I go home and head to the computer and the phone to call my Visa account manager to see if I can change the payment scheduled for next week. The very nice woman, who had had a messy divorce herself in the 80's, commiserated with me and walked me through the process of changing the payment and making sure it was registered so that I would not be penalized! Whew! Computers come in handy. I call my sister and cry on her shoulder for awhile. Her comment was a couple of "Why would Dow do that?" "That's weird."

I could only reply, "I am so mad, frustrated, upset I would like to haul his little @$% into court and have him explain to the judge "Why I stopped my wife's maintenance check which the court ordered!" And his lawyer knew she had to fix it because that is what I would have done, without a second's hesitation. Basically with this maneuver Dow broke a legally binding contract.

My lawyer has a mantra which he is repeating quite a lot in our last conversations, "Katy it will soon be over, you won't have to deal with Dow." September 8th in the morning, tentative date for the judge to sign. Every time I talk with Scott, I tell him, "I won't show in court unless everything is in your hands prior to my stepping in that court room." Stay tuned.