It is Almost Over, I think but I have said it before...

I have been very busy this last month with the march and events surrounding the 5th anniversary of this godawful war. I spent the week of Easter with my daughter Lisa and her family in Williamsburg VA. A good break away from death and war.

I met with my lawyer last week. Dow's lawyer was a "no show" 3/20 at the "check in" conference with the judge, don't know why. My lawyer was non committal when I asked "Why wouldn't she show if Dow is sooo interested in getting a divorce as he keeps insisting he is?" Anyway the only issue to be decided is how will Dow protect my getting maintenance if he dies prior to the 10 year limit we agreed upon.

Dow has proposed I have a claim against his estate with Lisa as his executor. I have said, "Not no but hell no." I do not trust Jason to not say to his sister, "Don't give mother a penny." I do not want Lisa to have to choose between my legitimate financial claim on the estate and Jason's friendship. Jason has not spoken to me in over a year. Sadly, I have no relationship with Jason and doubly painful I cannot see a reconciliation at this time.

My lawyer has proposed:
1. Dow has a $1 million life insurance policy, reduce it to $300K and Dow could reduce the amount as the years go by or

2. Put a lien against the house in my name for any remaining maintenance not paid at the time of his death during the 10 year period. We could do it in the settlement and new deed, I think.

I think Dow will go for #2 as this will cost him nothing out of pocket and he will be dead if this option is enforced. My problem is "What if Dow moves?" will my protection be in place for the next house? My lawyer said the settlement could be written with such protection.

I think this sojourn that started at Walter Reed Medical Center is coming to an end-2 1/2 years after it began. Actually much earlier as I should have left an emotionally and spiritually blinding relationship years ago. Being blind I could not, did not. At Walter Reed I was healed of my blindness and now I see. It is a great blessing to be free of the paralyzing fear that held me in chains of 30 years. My son paid the price; I can stand before my Godde a woman freed from oppression and ignorance. It is enough.