Synchronicity

I wrote an email this morning telling family that I was moving to KY.
At the same time Dow was calling Lisa to tell her this:

From: Lisa Ryan
Mom,
I have already talked to dad about you moving to KY because of the vacation plans this summer. And - just so you know - he is bringing his girlfriend on the cruise for Jason's wedding. I have not met her but I guess I will this summer.

Synchronicity is a Jungian term that describes two events happening at the same time over which you have no control. If you remember one of my reasons for leaving Chicago is the painful memories of my abusive marriage and the pain of Jason's wounding and our estrangement. So for me this announcement by Dow is affirmation that I have made the right decision to "move on with my life" as Dow moves on to another relationship.

I had told my sister Connie after we separated that "Dow will soon find another girlfriend/wife." He was adamant about MY not living with a man, but no problem for him! Dow's emotional needs to be the "child taken care of by mom" continue. Dow was too unconscious to grow or look deeply at our relationship during our months of marriage counseling. I would bet good money Dow has not learned anything about himself during these years apart. Oh, I am sure Dow learned to get a pre-nuptial agreement.

I hope that they have a good relationship, however based on my 30 plus years relationship with Dow, I know it will not be a healthy one; only one that "fits both of who they are emotionally and spiritually."

Because I have no relationship with Jason and Jodi and Dow will be bringing his girlfriend/wife, the wedding sure will be a doubly sticky experience for me. I had an aunt whose ex-spouse and his girlfriend were always invited to our family gatherings. She always told me how painful this was. I certainly will be the "odd-guest" out at the wedding. The situation of extended/blended families can really be a doozy. I plan to go and have a good time in the sun.