Discernment Process to Move to KY May 1, 2009

I thought that you might be interested in my discernment process which ended yesterday. I knew two years ago when I leased my apartment that it was "transitional housing." I knew my life would change once the divorce was final and that included a possible move from Chicago. I came to Chicago for Dow's promotion and it has been both a time of great pain and spiritual/emotional growth.

I have a friend Janice who is a Roman Catholic priest living with her husband in Lexington. She supported me through my divorce process and read the gospel at her ordination last August (see blog for 8/08). I knew that I would be entering the RCWP "seminary" and have started the application process this week. my lease was up 4/1/09. I asked my landlord for a month extension and he graciously permitted it to May 1. Looking at my calendar I couldn't get my move together before then.

Over the past year I have shared my discernment with two good therapists, my spiritual director and family as I pondered the pros and cons of this decision.

REASONS TO MOVE TO KY

1. Janice is the mentor I would like to have as I study to be a RCWP. Janice is a model of priesthood arising from the charism of Peace and Justice Ministry. This I believe is the true model of priesthood. Calling us to be the Compassionate Christ in the world. I want to live “the change I want to see” in the RCC.
2. Visualization about KY- a scene of spring-dogwood and red buds blooming. The second half of the image was “Chicago” a city with windows darkened but with golden light coming from underneath/behind. Moving to KY is a new beginning for myself for the first time on my own as an adult-no children, no husband since I was 21.
3. Cost of living is 14% less. 2 bedroom apartment about $600 plus utilities.
4. I would like to “retire” from focus on chaplain ministry to doing things that bring me pleasure as I have never done this before. I have always “lived for others” not pursuing my own interests but “sacrificing” my legitimate needs and wants.
5. The winter weather is milder/shorter.
6. Access to the natural environment is closer.
7. Has Sierra Club and Audubon Club
8. Smaller city area-about 250,000 people. ½ hour to travel across the city area. Everything in easy access.
9. Active Peace and Justice community.
10. Could worship with the Quaker community on Sundays until RC faith community is established.
11. Has a state university for classes, events, etc. Also has a medical center connected with university and access to good health system
12. Has a senior center
13. Art classes offered- pursue as a serious hobby.
14. A small city is a good place to live during a deep recession/depression.
15. Has a Curves free to AARP members-for exercise

REASONS TO STAY IN CHICAGO; not in any order
1. Train to see family in Detroit, for Connie to visit Chicago.
2. I do not have to drive (own a car) can take train, bus or taxi.
3. Preside in faith community as I have for 12 years.
4. Can enter RCWP living in Chicago.
5. Can continue to be part-time hospice chaplain with LHH, this may come to an end unless organizations increases census.
6. Many active Peace and Justice groups including Pax Christi, 8th Day Center for Justice
7. Present landlord has not changed rent for 2009; given permission to find a roommate to share ½ cost.
8. Know Chicago area/services/well.
9. Know people here but not any close friends. Either P and J connections or Women’s ordination connections.

REASONS TO LEAVE CHICAGO
Memories of Chicago are tied to an abusive marriage and bitter divorce. Memories of Chicago are tied to Jason, military, and his wounding. These memories are triggers for sorrow. I feel I need physical distance from the events of the past. In Lexington there are no emotional triggers connected to Dow or Jason. I will start with a clean slate of new experiences.

My spiritual and emotional growth work in Chicago has been tremendous. To be in the mountains of KY will be a healing environment for me; a time to pause and let myself be. I have never permitted myself to enjoy the natural environment nor to paint; I would like to devote time to these endeavors and Lexington will be a much slower paced city.

Because of the stock market crash, my divorce settlement is now less than 50% of what it would have been a year ago and decreasing each week. Finances are a part of the decision to move.

As my Jungian analyst told me this week, “Your psyche does not care where you live, but only what you are becoming.”

MARCH 6, 2009
DISCERNMENT PROCESS with Srs. Mary Kay and Patricia
(They are members of my Eucharistic community and friends for 13 years.Both are social workers with many years of experience)
THE QUESTION: SHOULD I MOVE TO KY?
Not in any order

CONS:
Not a transportation hub like Chicago
Leaving my faith community where I have presided for 12 years
Blatant racism in Lexington
Leaving support system/friends
Uprooting from city/life/work of 13 years
No known support except one friend
No employment focus to structure time
Poor public transportation-must drive
Religious culture is not RC, but Protestant


Pros:
Cost of living lower- 14-20% than Chicago
Janice as mentor for priesthood- focus on Justice (especially for women) & Peace
Good time in my life for a change-time of retirement now on SS and Medicare
Can focus on the environment-time/groups/clubs
Leave Chicago and emotional trauma
Life is simpler (town of 250,000 versus 8 million), back to my roots of rural life
Time to write/reflect/take college classes
Focus energy on RCWP “seminary”
Going out on my own for the very 1st time in my life
New beginning in a new environment