Dear friends,
I will make one more entry on this blog.
The divorce process will be over once the retirement funds are divided.
I will close this Blog because I will start a new one entitled "The Journey to Become a Roman Catholic Woman Priest!" Today is a Herstoric day for me. I just received news that I have been officially accepted into the program for preparation to the priesthood! Oh my gosh! I cried and laughed when Soon-to-be Bishop Bridget Mary Meehan called to tell me.
All I can say "March is going out like a lion!"
Listen to me roar and watch out cause "Here I come"
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Retirement Accounts Ready to be Divided
Dow got an email from his lawyer, only about 7 months after the divorce, Loyola administration is catching up on its incompetence. It never submitted the proper request to divide the accounts is my understanding.
The divorce settlement issue is just about over-of course if we had each gotten our money in a timely fashion, maybe it would be a little larger amount than it sure is now! From a DJ of 14,000 when we separated to under half of that now. So the settlement is worth about 1/2 of what it would have been in 2006 when we separated and started the divorce process.
I collected the last items from the condo this week. Dow came out to my car with them: photos and my mother's kitchen tools that we had displayed in the kitchen. Felt funny in that I was shocked about how he looked. Dow looks haggard with snow white hair. The total time we were married Dow colored his hair to look younger and wanted me to do the same. It almost looks like he got a permanent but I sure didn't want to ask so we will never know!
My landlord called and wants me to "straighten up the apartment" as he wants to show it. It does look like a hurricane went through, I have piles and boxes in every room. I was to begin to pack today-about 4 weeks before the move, but I am on call and guess what although I never get called to visit...I got a call, patient and family want to meet to sign on to hospice. End of plan-off to Wheeling where I spent 2 hours talking about hospice and signing her up. With two hours of travel also, there went the better part of the day!
I had to come home to bake the Eucharistic bread for the liturgy as part of World Day of Prayer for Women's Ordination. We may get as much as 6 inches of snow overnight so I hope I can get to the liturgy tomorrow!
The divorce settlement issue is just about over-of course if we had each gotten our money in a timely fashion, maybe it would be a little larger amount than it sure is now! From a DJ of 14,000 when we separated to under half of that now. So the settlement is worth about 1/2 of what it would have been in 2006 when we separated and started the divorce process.
I collected the last items from the condo this week. Dow came out to my car with them: photos and my mother's kitchen tools that we had displayed in the kitchen. Felt funny in that I was shocked about how he looked. Dow looks haggard with snow white hair. The total time we were married Dow colored his hair to look younger and wanted me to do the same. It almost looks like he got a permanent but I sure didn't want to ask so we will never know!
My landlord called and wants me to "straighten up the apartment" as he wants to show it. It does look like a hurricane went through, I have piles and boxes in every room. I was to begin to pack today-about 4 weeks before the move, but I am on call and guess what although I never get called to visit...I got a call, patient and family want to meet to sign on to hospice. End of plan-off to Wheeling where I spent 2 hours talking about hospice and signing her up. With two hours of travel also, there went the better part of the day!
I had to come home to bake the Eucharistic bread for the liturgy as part of World Day of Prayer for Women's Ordination. We may get as much as 6 inches of snow overnight so I hope I can get to the liturgy tomorrow!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
A Paradox of Affirmation- Joining RCWP
I have been letting people know that I am moving to Lexington KY and while there I will participate in the RCWP preparation for ordination program.
I never received affirmation of who I am in my family of origin nor in my marriage to Dow. I think these letters are a paradox of affirmation. By joining RCWP to be ordained I have "left" the cultural and religious paradigm in which I lived. I am now outside of Catholic culture and the role of women-subservient to men. My Jungian analyst said, "You are on the path of individuation" meaning I am discovering who I am and it not is what the dominant paradigms present or require to be "normal" nor will I "fit in."
So for the very first time in my life this week I received two letters of affirmation and I want to share them with you. Each brought tears to my eyes.
First letter is from David Corcoran who is a very special friend. I met David as my CPE mentor (learning to be a chaplain) at LUMC in 2000. David has been in prison for two 6 month terms because he crossed the line at Ft. Benning GA. He is now a reservist Christian Peacemaker Team member. They go to the war zones of the Middle East to be a witness and workers for peace. David wrote:
I am glad the "Spirit has been moving you all over this land" I remember the days you told us about when you pastored in Virginia and your eyes lighted up, like this is what gave you life and meaning. Your life has always lighted up when you went out to minister to others, like when you came to visit me in prison and stayed months on end at your critically ill son's bedside. Your CPE ministry and hospice service have also taught you wisdom and compassion. So now when you go to Lexington to be mentored, know that we hold you in prayer and God will hold you in Her/His heart where you will be immersed in love. Learn from those you serve!
Best wishes, Dave.
March 13, 2009
When I lived in Virginia from 1979 to 1996 I was very active in my parish and the Roman Catholic Community. I became friends with Bishop Walter Sullivan and I have stayed in contact with him since coming to Chicago. Prior to my leaving the New River Valley, I was the Pastoral Coordinator for a newly forming parish in Christiansburg. Bishop Sullivan is one of the great Peace Bishops coming after Vatican II. He has always been very supportive of women but with the doctrines of the church changing I never thought he would voice support for me. His letter of March 17, 2009:
I was glad to hear from you and I see that you will soon be moving on to Lexington, KY. I wish you all success as you participate in the RCWP program. I remember Roy Bourgeois from many years ago when he was in the Richmond City Jail.
Blessings as you continue your spiritual journey, I am
Yours sincerely,
+Walter
Both of these good priests affirm who I have been and who I am becoming. May I truly learn from those I serve to be the "Servant of the servants of God" I know I must learn much about myself before ordination. I am undergoing evaluative tests this week to measure my psychological health. Keep my journey in your prayers.
I never received affirmation of who I am in my family of origin nor in my marriage to Dow. I think these letters are a paradox of affirmation. By joining RCWP to be ordained I have "left" the cultural and religious paradigm in which I lived. I am now outside of Catholic culture and the role of women-subservient to men. My Jungian analyst said, "You are on the path of individuation" meaning I am discovering who I am and it not is what the dominant paradigms present or require to be "normal" nor will I "fit in."
So for the very first time in my life this week I received two letters of affirmation and I want to share them with you. Each brought tears to my eyes.
First letter is from David Corcoran who is a very special friend. I met David as my CPE mentor (learning to be a chaplain) at LUMC in 2000. David has been in prison for two 6 month terms because he crossed the line at Ft. Benning GA. He is now a reservist Christian Peacemaker Team member. They go to the war zones of the Middle East to be a witness and workers for peace. David wrote:
I am glad the "Spirit has been moving you all over this land" I remember the days you told us about when you pastored in Virginia and your eyes lighted up, like this is what gave you life and meaning. Your life has always lighted up when you went out to minister to others, like when you came to visit me in prison and stayed months on end at your critically ill son's bedside. Your CPE ministry and hospice service have also taught you wisdom and compassion. So now when you go to Lexington to be mentored, know that we hold you in prayer and God will hold you in Her/His heart where you will be immersed in love. Learn from those you serve!
Best wishes, Dave.
March 13, 2009
When I lived in Virginia from 1979 to 1996 I was very active in my parish and the Roman Catholic Community. I became friends with Bishop Walter Sullivan and I have stayed in contact with him since coming to Chicago. Prior to my leaving the New River Valley, I was the Pastoral Coordinator for a newly forming parish in Christiansburg. Bishop Sullivan is one of the great Peace Bishops coming after Vatican II. He has always been very supportive of women but with the doctrines of the church changing I never thought he would voice support for me. His letter of March 17, 2009:
I was glad to hear from you and I see that you will soon be moving on to Lexington, KY. I wish you all success as you participate in the RCWP program. I remember Roy Bourgeois from many years ago when he was in the Richmond City Jail.
Blessings as you continue your spiritual journey, I am
Yours sincerely,
+Walter
Both of these good priests affirm who I have been and who I am becoming. May I truly learn from those I serve to be the "Servant of the servants of God" I know I must learn much about myself before ordination. I am undergoing evaluative tests this week to measure my psychological health. Keep my journey in your prayers.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Did Anyone See Jason on TV this week?
I met with one of my patient’s widows today. Loma said, “I saw Jason on TV. I didn’t see the whole program.” I did not see it and her words were the very first I had heard about it from anyone. I understand that Jason was doing exercise with a prosthetic. I know that when Jason left Walter Reed in November 2007 he was disinheartened with the use of one.
I hope Loma did, indeed, see Jason. Loma said Jason talked about living in Florida and his Army papers getting lost. She said, “Jason looked really good, healthy and happy.” I was so happy for Jason but sad at the same time for me that I know nothing about his and Jodi's life together.
This was the last time I will see Loma and I thought she gave me the most wonderful “Goodbye” gift I will ever receive. Jason is doing well. My heart sings with "Thanks be to Godde." Let us all pray that he will be successful in finding a position after graduation this May and he and Jodi have a very smooth move.
I was wondering if anyone out there saw Jason as Loma could not remember the name of the show except that it was on this week. Let me know if you did see it. I may be able to see it on the web or get a copy of it from the reporter. Thanks, Have a great weekend, it is supposed to be in the fifties in KY where I am going to find an apartment.
I hope Loma did, indeed, see Jason. Loma said Jason talked about living in Florida and his Army papers getting lost. She said, “Jason looked really good, healthy and happy.” I was so happy for Jason but sad at the same time for me that I know nothing about his and Jodi's life together.
This was the last time I will see Loma and I thought she gave me the most wonderful “Goodbye” gift I will ever receive. Jason is doing well. My heart sings with "Thanks be to Godde." Let us all pray that he will be successful in finding a position after graduation this May and he and Jodi have a very smooth move.
I was wondering if anyone out there saw Jason as Loma could not remember the name of the show except that it was on this week. Let me know if you did see it. I may be able to see it on the web or get a copy of it from the reporter. Thanks, Have a great weekend, it is supposed to be in the fifties in KY where I am going to find an apartment.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
A Time of Affirmation of my Priesthood
I spent two hours this morning giving a pre-test interview as part of the application for the Preparation for Ordination of RCWP (see www.romancatholicwomenpriests.org/)The young woman who asked me 2 hours of questions covering all of my emotional life, plus I did two paper and pen quick inventories stated at the end of our time together "Thank you for sharing so openly with me. I know you are on your unique spiritual path." I will see how I will score on the MMPII and one test of the therapist's choosing.
This evening I attended a small circle-four persons for a bible study of peacemaking as part of the Lenten exercises. I try to do something different during Lent, I will make as many of these as I can. I believe that Jesus was a deeply spiritual person and like each of us a Beloved son/daughter of God. In the Christian tradition a holy person is depicted as having a halo, a sign of inner light or God's presence coming forth. Our reading was the transfiguration of Christ on the mountain with his disciples "The clothes Jesus wore became dazzlingly white--whiter than any earthly bleach could make them." I said, "Each of us is transfigured, except because we are not as advanced spiritually, our light cannot be seen as readily. But some people do radiate God's light."
Now you all know the story of my stepping out of the darkness of my marriage into the light. After the meeting was over, we all were in the kitchen getting ready for a simple supper when Diane, one of the young women asked, "May I give you a hug? When you were talking about people who radiate God, I thought, "That is Katy, She radiates God's light and love." I thanked her and know it to be true. I feel I do this when I am at peace and let God's love be. I have had patients tell me the same, "You are so light." I feel I will experience it more now than before because I have said "Yes" to my priesthood. I know my priesthood will be one of healing.
This evening I attended a small circle-four persons for a bible study of peacemaking as part of the Lenten exercises. I try to do something different during Lent, I will make as many of these as I can. I believe that Jesus was a deeply spiritual person and like each of us a Beloved son/daughter of God. In the Christian tradition a holy person is depicted as having a halo, a sign of inner light or God's presence coming forth. Our reading was the transfiguration of Christ on the mountain with his disciples "The clothes Jesus wore became dazzlingly white--whiter than any earthly bleach could make them." I said, "Each of us is transfigured, except because we are not as advanced spiritually, our light cannot be seen as readily. But some people do radiate God's light."
Now you all know the story of my stepping out of the darkness of my marriage into the light. After the meeting was over, we all were in the kitchen getting ready for a simple supper when Diane, one of the young women asked, "May I give you a hug? When you were talking about people who radiate God, I thought, "That is Katy, She radiates God's light and love." I thanked her and know it to be true. I feel I do this when I am at peace and let God's love be. I have had patients tell me the same, "You are so light." I feel I will experience it more now than before because I have said "Yes" to my priesthood. I know my priesthood will be one of healing.
Off to Look for an Apartment
Having announced my decision to move to KY, now I have to go to find a place to live. So I am off to Lexington on Saturday for four days to find a place. Lisa's sister-in-law Jeannie lives there and will look for places for me. I will go on Craig's List on Thursday to get the latest rentals and go from there. Janice and Bob will also help. The only red flag is that the crime rate is higher than the national average-burglaries, etc. So as a 66 year old single woman, I feel I will have to find a place in a safer neighborhood.
I would like to have a storage area as I will bring my bike, hopefully to learn to ride for the first time in the mountains, didn't do much while I lived in Blacksburg but would like to for health and enjoyment of the natural environment.
All the mundane items to prepare for a move. I gave away another 5 boxes of books, they had sat in boxes since my move here to my "transitional housing" two years ago. My wonderful Irish landlord was very disappointed that I will not stay but he said, "You will follow your heart, I think you will choose Kentucky" and so I have.
To balance the moving madness, I have begun work on my application as "soon-to-be" bishop Bridget Mary wanted my application in THIS week. Whoa, I told her I will try for April 1 and do need it in as the criteria for admission to the ordination preparation program are changing on that date. I think the Americans are getting to academic and attempting to "control" the Spirit but I also know academic preparation is good. However anyone schooled in modern day Roman Catholic theology is trained in "patriarchal, hierarchical, clerical" rationalizing theology. Definitely not the best preparation to be a Roman Catholic Woman Priest.
I think the best preparation for the priesthood is continual involvement in one's faith journey and the support of a faith community. Life is the lesson if I pay attention! To grow in compassion and solidarity with all that exists for all is of Godde.
I would like to have a storage area as I will bring my bike, hopefully to learn to ride for the first time in the mountains, didn't do much while I lived in Blacksburg but would like to for health and enjoyment of the natural environment.
All the mundane items to prepare for a move. I gave away another 5 boxes of books, they had sat in boxes since my move here to my "transitional housing" two years ago. My wonderful Irish landlord was very disappointed that I will not stay but he said, "You will follow your heart, I think you will choose Kentucky" and so I have.
To balance the moving madness, I have begun work on my application as "soon-to-be" bishop Bridget Mary wanted my application in THIS week. Whoa, I told her I will try for April 1 and do need it in as the criteria for admission to the ordination preparation program are changing on that date. I think the Americans are getting to academic and attempting to "control" the Spirit but I also know academic preparation is good. However anyone schooled in modern day Roman Catholic theology is trained in "patriarchal, hierarchical, clerical" rationalizing theology. Definitely not the best preparation to be a Roman Catholic Woman Priest.
I think the best preparation for the priesthood is continual involvement in one's faith journey and the support of a faith community. Life is the lesson if I pay attention! To grow in compassion and solidarity with all that exists for all is of Godde.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Synchronicity
I wrote an email this morning telling family that I was moving to KY.
At the same time Dow was calling Lisa to tell her this:
From: Lisa Ryan
Mom,
I have already talked to dad about you moving to KY because of the vacation plans this summer. And - just so you know - he is bringing his girlfriend on the cruise for Jason's wedding. I have not met her but I guess I will this summer.
Synchronicity is a Jungian term that describes two events happening at the same time over which you have no control. If you remember one of my reasons for leaving Chicago is the painful memories of my abusive marriage and the pain of Jason's wounding and our estrangement. So for me this announcement by Dow is affirmation that I have made the right decision to "move on with my life" as Dow moves on to another relationship.
I had told my sister Connie after we separated that "Dow will soon find another girlfriend/wife." He was adamant about MY not living with a man, but no problem for him! Dow's emotional needs to be the "child taken care of by mom" continue. Dow was too unconscious to grow or look deeply at our relationship during our months of marriage counseling. I would bet good money Dow has not learned anything about himself during these years apart. Oh, I am sure Dow learned to get a pre-nuptial agreement.
I hope that they have a good relationship, however based on my 30 plus years relationship with Dow, I know it will not be a healthy one; only one that "fits both of who they are emotionally and spiritually."
Because I have no relationship with Jason and Jodi and Dow will be bringing his girlfriend/wife, the wedding sure will be a doubly sticky experience for me. I had an aunt whose ex-spouse and his girlfriend were always invited to our family gatherings. She always told me how painful this was. I certainly will be the "odd-guest" out at the wedding. The situation of extended/blended families can really be a doozy. I plan to go and have a good time in the sun.
At the same time Dow was calling Lisa to tell her this:
From: Lisa Ryan
Mom,
I have already talked to dad about you moving to KY because of the vacation plans this summer. And - just so you know - he is bringing his girlfriend on the cruise for Jason's wedding. I have not met her but I guess I will this summer.
Synchronicity is a Jungian term that describes two events happening at the same time over which you have no control. If you remember one of my reasons for leaving Chicago is the painful memories of my abusive marriage and the pain of Jason's wounding and our estrangement. So for me this announcement by Dow is affirmation that I have made the right decision to "move on with my life" as Dow moves on to another relationship.
I had told my sister Connie after we separated that "Dow will soon find another girlfriend/wife." He was adamant about MY not living with a man, but no problem for him! Dow's emotional needs to be the "child taken care of by mom" continue. Dow was too unconscious to grow or look deeply at our relationship during our months of marriage counseling. I would bet good money Dow has not learned anything about himself during these years apart. Oh, I am sure Dow learned to get a pre-nuptial agreement.
I hope that they have a good relationship, however based on my 30 plus years relationship with Dow, I know it will not be a healthy one; only one that "fits both of who they are emotionally and spiritually."
Because I have no relationship with Jason and Jodi and Dow will be bringing his girlfriend/wife, the wedding sure will be a doubly sticky experience for me. I had an aunt whose ex-spouse and his girlfriend were always invited to our family gatherings. She always told me how painful this was. I certainly will be the "odd-guest" out at the wedding. The situation of extended/blended families can really be a doozy. I plan to go and have a good time in the sun.
Discernment Process to Move to KY May 1, 2009
I thought that you might be interested in my discernment process which ended yesterday. I knew two years ago when I leased my apartment that it was "transitional housing." I knew my life would change once the divorce was final and that included a possible move from Chicago. I came to Chicago for Dow's promotion and it has been both a time of great pain and spiritual/emotional growth.
I have a friend Janice who is a Roman Catholic priest living with her husband in Lexington. She supported me through my divorce process and read the gospel at her ordination last August (see blog for 8/08). I knew that I would be entering the RCWP "seminary" and have started the application process this week. my lease was up 4/1/09. I asked my landlord for a month extension and he graciously permitted it to May 1. Looking at my calendar I couldn't get my move together before then.
Over the past year I have shared my discernment with two good therapists, my spiritual director and family as I pondered the pros and cons of this decision.
REASONS TO MOVE TO KY
1. Janice is the mentor I would like to have as I study to be a RCWP. Janice is a model of priesthood arising from the charism of Peace and Justice Ministry. This I believe is the true model of priesthood. Calling us to be the Compassionate Christ in the world. I want to live “the change I want to see” in the RCC.
2. Visualization about KY- a scene of spring-dogwood and red buds blooming. The second half of the image was “Chicago” a city with windows darkened but with golden light coming from underneath/behind. Moving to KY is a new beginning for myself for the first time on my own as an adult-no children, no husband since I was 21.
3. Cost of living is 14% less. 2 bedroom apartment about $600 plus utilities.
4. I would like to “retire” from focus on chaplain ministry to doing things that bring me pleasure as I have never done this before. I have always “lived for others” not pursuing my own interests but “sacrificing” my legitimate needs and wants.
5. The winter weather is milder/shorter.
6. Access to the natural environment is closer.
7. Has Sierra Club and Audubon Club
8. Smaller city area-about 250,000 people. ½ hour to travel across the city area. Everything in easy access.
9. Active Peace and Justice community.
10. Could worship with the Quaker community on Sundays until RC faith community is established.
11. Has a state university for classes, events, etc. Also has a medical center connected with university and access to good health system
12. Has a senior center
13. Art classes offered- pursue as a serious hobby.
14. A small city is a good place to live during a deep recession/depression.
15. Has a Curves free to AARP members-for exercise
REASONS TO STAY IN CHICAGO; not in any order
1. Train to see family in Detroit, for Connie to visit Chicago.
2. I do not have to drive (own a car) can take train, bus or taxi.
3. Preside in faith community as I have for 12 years.
4. Can enter RCWP living in Chicago.
5. Can continue to be part-time hospice chaplain with LHH, this may come to an end unless organizations increases census.
6. Many active Peace and Justice groups including Pax Christi, 8th Day Center for Justice
7. Present landlord has not changed rent for 2009; given permission to find a roommate to share ½ cost.
8. Know Chicago area/services/well.
9. Know people here but not any close friends. Either P and J connections or Women’s ordination connections.
REASONS TO LEAVE CHICAGO
Memories of Chicago are tied to an abusive marriage and bitter divorce. Memories of Chicago are tied to Jason, military, and his wounding. These memories are triggers for sorrow. I feel I need physical distance from the events of the past. In Lexington there are no emotional triggers connected to Dow or Jason. I will start with a clean slate of new experiences.
My spiritual and emotional growth work in Chicago has been tremendous. To be in the mountains of KY will be a healing environment for me; a time to pause and let myself be. I have never permitted myself to enjoy the natural environment nor to paint; I would like to devote time to these endeavors and Lexington will be a much slower paced city.
Because of the stock market crash, my divorce settlement is now less than 50% of what it would have been a year ago and decreasing each week. Finances are a part of the decision to move.
As my Jungian analyst told me this week, “Your psyche does not care where you live, but only what you are becoming.”
MARCH 6, 2009
DISCERNMENT PROCESS with Srs. Mary Kay and Patricia
(They are members of my Eucharistic community and friends for 13 years.Both are social workers with many years of experience)
THE QUESTION: SHOULD I MOVE TO KY?
Not in any order
CONS:
Not a transportation hub like Chicago
Leaving my faith community where I have presided for 12 years
Blatant racism in Lexington
Leaving support system/friends
Uprooting from city/life/work of 13 years
No known support except one friend
No employment focus to structure time
Poor public transportation-must drive
Religious culture is not RC, but Protestant
Pros:
Cost of living lower- 14-20% than Chicago
Janice as mentor for priesthood- focus on Justice (especially for women) & Peace
Good time in my life for a change-time of retirement now on SS and Medicare
Can focus on the environment-time/groups/clubs
Leave Chicago and emotional trauma
Life is simpler (town of 250,000 versus 8 million), back to my roots of rural life
Time to write/reflect/take college classes
Focus energy on RCWP “seminary”
Going out on my own for the very 1st time in my life
New beginning in a new environment
I have a friend Janice who is a Roman Catholic priest living with her husband in Lexington. She supported me through my divorce process and read the gospel at her ordination last August (see blog for 8/08). I knew that I would be entering the RCWP "seminary" and have started the application process this week. my lease was up 4/1/09. I asked my landlord for a month extension and he graciously permitted it to May 1. Looking at my calendar I couldn't get my move together before then.
Over the past year I have shared my discernment with two good therapists, my spiritual director and family as I pondered the pros and cons of this decision.
REASONS TO MOVE TO KY
1. Janice is the mentor I would like to have as I study to be a RCWP. Janice is a model of priesthood arising from the charism of Peace and Justice Ministry. This I believe is the true model of priesthood. Calling us to be the Compassionate Christ in the world. I want to live “the change I want to see” in the RCC.
2. Visualization about KY- a scene of spring-dogwood and red buds blooming. The second half of the image was “Chicago” a city with windows darkened but with golden light coming from underneath/behind. Moving to KY is a new beginning for myself for the first time on my own as an adult-no children, no husband since I was 21.
3. Cost of living is 14% less. 2 bedroom apartment about $600 plus utilities.
4. I would like to “retire” from focus on chaplain ministry to doing things that bring me pleasure as I have never done this before. I have always “lived for others” not pursuing my own interests but “sacrificing” my legitimate needs and wants.
5. The winter weather is milder/shorter.
6. Access to the natural environment is closer.
7. Has Sierra Club and Audubon Club
8. Smaller city area-about 250,000 people. ½ hour to travel across the city area. Everything in easy access.
9. Active Peace and Justice community.
10. Could worship with the Quaker community on Sundays until RC faith community is established.
11. Has a state university for classes, events, etc. Also has a medical center connected with university and access to good health system
12. Has a senior center
13. Art classes offered- pursue as a serious hobby.
14. A small city is a good place to live during a deep recession/depression.
15. Has a Curves free to AARP members-for exercise
REASONS TO STAY IN CHICAGO; not in any order
1. Train to see family in Detroit, for Connie to visit Chicago.
2. I do not have to drive (own a car) can take train, bus or taxi.
3. Preside in faith community as I have for 12 years.
4. Can enter RCWP living in Chicago.
5. Can continue to be part-time hospice chaplain with LHH, this may come to an end unless organizations increases census.
6. Many active Peace and Justice groups including Pax Christi, 8th Day Center for Justice
7. Present landlord has not changed rent for 2009; given permission to find a roommate to share ½ cost.
8. Know Chicago area/services/well.
9. Know people here but not any close friends. Either P and J connections or Women’s ordination connections.
REASONS TO LEAVE CHICAGO
Memories of Chicago are tied to an abusive marriage and bitter divorce. Memories of Chicago are tied to Jason, military, and his wounding. These memories are triggers for sorrow. I feel I need physical distance from the events of the past. In Lexington there are no emotional triggers connected to Dow or Jason. I will start with a clean slate of new experiences.
My spiritual and emotional growth work in Chicago has been tremendous. To be in the mountains of KY will be a healing environment for me; a time to pause and let myself be. I have never permitted myself to enjoy the natural environment nor to paint; I would like to devote time to these endeavors and Lexington will be a much slower paced city.
Because of the stock market crash, my divorce settlement is now less than 50% of what it would have been a year ago and decreasing each week. Finances are a part of the decision to move.
As my Jungian analyst told me this week, “Your psyche does not care where you live, but only what you are becoming.”
MARCH 6, 2009
DISCERNMENT PROCESS with Srs. Mary Kay and Patricia
(They are members of my Eucharistic community and friends for 13 years.Both are social workers with many years of experience)
THE QUESTION: SHOULD I MOVE TO KY?
Not in any order
CONS:
Not a transportation hub like Chicago
Leaving my faith community where I have presided for 12 years
Blatant racism in Lexington
Leaving support system/friends
Uprooting from city/life/work of 13 years
No known support except one friend
No employment focus to structure time
Poor public transportation-must drive
Religious culture is not RC, but Protestant
Pros:
Cost of living lower- 14-20% than Chicago
Janice as mentor for priesthood- focus on Justice (especially for women) & Peace
Good time in my life for a change-time of retirement now on SS and Medicare
Can focus on the environment-time/groups/clubs
Leave Chicago and emotional trauma
Life is simpler (town of 250,000 versus 8 million), back to my roots of rural life
Time to write/reflect/take college classes
Focus energy on RCWP “seminary”
Going out on my own for the very 1st time in my life
New beginning in a new environment
Sunday, March 1, 2009
What a Saturday! I Should Have Stayed in Bed!
I need to share my story of the Saturday from Hell! Just in time for the beginning of Lent.
I woke up and had a leisurely breakfast. That was beginning of the most non-leisurely day in a long-time.
I had to finish preparing for my liturgy on Sunday-the First Sunday in Lent. No problem. I took the liturgy to the local copy place the only one within miles next to Loyola's campus. This was the second time they happened. "Sorry the copy machines are down. They will be up by Monday." Can't do it, need tomorrow. "Leave with me and I will have for you." Two weeks ago, the machines were down and she had one of the locals deliver to me at home after hours.
Next stop I headed to the dentist to find O’Meara was closed! I think he decided to take Spring break and didn’t bother to notify this patient that my appointment was being dropped. Grr.
So that meant that I could move the next meeting to plan a liturgy as my list of Saturday chores was a long one. Barbara was amicable and I cooked her breakfast as she had just gotten off from working all night as a hospital chaplain. She ate breakfast and we argued over the liturgy for 3/29/09-world day of prayer for Women's Ordination. Barbara is old school in that she doesn't mind some forms of sexist language. But the Harold community will tolerate none of it. I told her, "Barbara you may be corrected but ultimately be who you are." I figure they can give Barbara the feedback, I have warned her, my duty is done.
Then we discussed the "state of the Roman Catholic Women Priest movement" which is having its challenges including the naming of bishops for the various active regions. Because these are women of personal power (they would never take on the institutional RCC if they weren't) there is dissension because of how some of the priests are using their power. Sigh, when it comes to power within an institution/structure there is no difference between men and women and their abuse of it.
Then I had to take the car in for service. “No problem done in an hour” well you can guess what happened. No call, no call. I called them, “Almost done.” Toyota called back, “We will send a car for you as we close at 6PM.” No car, no car. Shoot! I need the car for tomorrow. 20 minutes to 6 PM the young driver shows up. I have bread in the oven “Can I get home before it burns?” Dash, dash. $130 to get the 4 electronic keys to the Prius “tuned and new batteries.” Don’t ask why I have 4 (I don’t know-we must have lost, bought replacements then found the originals as I know we started off with just two) and none of them was working well.
Barbara had asked me to come to her liturgy at 6PM. I had the right address about two blocks from my apartment but got lost and arrived in the middle of the dialogue homily. Apologies accepted. I finally “settled down” and really enjoyed an excellent pot luck dinner after liturgy and stayed a lot longer than I thought I would. I did find my way home after dark with no problem.
So I thought I didn't start the day with prayer but I ended this day of chaos with prayer and it settled me in just fine.
Slept till 5:30 AM this morning, got up and wrote my birthday cards for the month. My Grandson Jonathan's is on the 27th; he turns 11. My sister Judy's is the 29th, she was actually born on Holy Thursday. Got my liturgy items and headed out into the snow and the cold. Good liturgy this morning about 12 people present. We explored the meaning of Lent and how God is asking us to grow spiritually no matter where we are on the journey.
I woke up and had a leisurely breakfast. That was beginning of the most non-leisurely day in a long-time.
I had to finish preparing for my liturgy on Sunday-the First Sunday in Lent. No problem. I took the liturgy to the local copy place the only one within miles next to Loyola's campus. This was the second time they happened. "Sorry the copy machines are down. They will be up by Monday." Can't do it, need tomorrow. "Leave with me and I will have for you." Two weeks ago, the machines were down and she had one of the locals deliver to me at home after hours.
Next stop I headed to the dentist to find O’Meara was closed! I think he decided to take Spring break and didn’t bother to notify this patient that my appointment was being dropped. Grr.
So that meant that I could move the next meeting to plan a liturgy as my list of Saturday chores was a long one. Barbara was amicable and I cooked her breakfast as she had just gotten off from working all night as a hospital chaplain. She ate breakfast and we argued over the liturgy for 3/29/09-world day of prayer for Women's Ordination. Barbara is old school in that she doesn't mind some forms of sexist language. But the Harold community will tolerate none of it. I told her, "Barbara you may be corrected but ultimately be who you are." I figure they can give Barbara the feedback, I have warned her, my duty is done.
Then we discussed the "state of the Roman Catholic Women Priest movement" which is having its challenges including the naming of bishops for the various active regions. Because these are women of personal power (they would never take on the institutional RCC if they weren't) there is dissension because of how some of the priests are using their power. Sigh, when it comes to power within an institution/structure there is no difference between men and women and their abuse of it.
Then I had to take the car in for service. “No problem done in an hour” well you can guess what happened. No call, no call. I called them, “Almost done.” Toyota called back, “We will send a car for you as we close at 6PM.” No car, no car. Shoot! I need the car for tomorrow. 20 minutes to 6 PM the young driver shows up. I have bread in the oven “Can I get home before it burns?” Dash, dash. $130 to get the 4 electronic keys to the Prius “tuned and new batteries.” Don’t ask why I have 4 (I don’t know-we must have lost, bought replacements then found the originals as I know we started off with just two) and none of them was working well.
Barbara had asked me to come to her liturgy at 6PM. I had the right address about two blocks from my apartment but got lost and arrived in the middle of the dialogue homily. Apologies accepted. I finally “settled down” and really enjoyed an excellent pot luck dinner after liturgy and stayed a lot longer than I thought I would. I did find my way home after dark with no problem.
So I thought I didn't start the day with prayer but I ended this day of chaos with prayer and it settled me in just fine.
Slept till 5:30 AM this morning, got up and wrote my birthday cards for the month. My Grandson Jonathan's is on the 27th; he turns 11. My sister Judy's is the 29th, she was actually born on Holy Thursday. Got my liturgy items and headed out into the snow and the cold. Good liturgy this morning about 12 people present. We explored the meaning of Lent and how God is asking us to grow spiritually no matter where we are on the journey.
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