The lawyers met with the judge last Tuesday, Dow rejects the proposal again. I feel like Dow continues in his "dominate and abuse Katy" emotional actions toward me. I guess "Why would I ever think it would be different after 28 years of such a relationship?" He argued very strongly in November that "I (Dow) want this divorce over, NOW" Here we are, next court date in March and don't seem to be getting anywhere.
2. Today is Jason's 31st birthday. A celebration for Jason a very painful day of memories for me. All that I didn't do as Jason's mother sits on my heart today. Why was I so blind? Each one of the professional counselors in my life continues to tell me, "You did the best you could! Jason has a father too." Sr. Pat my spiritual director tells me the "God of evolution is continually working-in individuals and collectively." We cannot see where the plan is going or what is included. We only know that it exists and founded on creativity and diversity and love is its energy for humanity.
My heart is full of joy for the life of my only son. My heart is full of prayers for great success for Jason in every way; physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, socially, in relationships. For growth in his heart and always healing in every way that Jason needs and will be revealed to him. Even as my growth is revealed to me.
As Jason has no contact with me, memories are timeless and my heart is full of them at all ages of his life. Jason's great intelligence, his ability to synthesize data, Jason's love of reading, his wonderful sense of humor, Jason's love of animals. Somewhere somehow part of me is Jason. Held tenderly memories remain and shall remain forever until we behold each other again and hug each other with love and great happiness. That is my dream and I know one day it will come true.
3. My aunt Irene died on the 5th and as I had offered to preside at the funeral I filled a couple of bags and headed to Detroit on the train. About an hour late that is nothing compared to the almost 5 hours late coming back because it was so blooming cold that the switches across southern Michigan continued to freeze! Each time a maintainence crew had to be called to do their magic thing and we would wait, wait...
I won't publish all of the service but will publish my reflection.
Reflection:
I want to attempt to put Irene’s life in context of the larger human story. For her parents were part of the great immigration waves that came to
Irene’s childhood home was not only a place of the normal needs of children but also an immigrant family to a new culture, time and place, traditions and values and meanings. Elementary school in the Roaring 20’s, speaking both Polish and English, High school in the Great Depression with poverty and hunger a common experience for Irene’s family, then WWII. These experiences marked a generation. Life would be measured by how far “I (Irene) have come since the Depession” Both Aunt Irene and her brother Henry served honorably in the War. The picture shows Irene in uniform, most likely on a weekend pass home. Henry most likely is serving in the South Pacific when the picture was taken.
After the war, Irene married Dan Harrington who also served in WWII. As a couple they strived to live the American dream. They both worked, purchased a home in Birmingham, adopted Sheila and lived the 50’s and 60’s where I babysat for Sheila while her parents went out dancing or playing bridge on Saturday nights and our family enjoyed many holiday hours and visits in their home.
As our reading relates, our lives are full of both the joys of everyday and the suffering of being human. We remember Sheila’s life long struggle with drug abuse and her unfortunate death at Irene’s home. We know as a parent Sheila’s struggles and lifestyle must have caused Aunt Irene much sorrow. She and Dan were divorced and Irene lived with Mike Theakston for about 20 years before purchasing her condo in
After Sheila’s death Connie my sister stepped in to provide guardianship for Aunt Irene until her death this week. I would like to offer Connie a special “Thank you” from all the family for her kind compassionate care of Aunt Irene on our behalf.
I know that Aunt Irene would want me to tell Michael and Carrie and all her grandchildren and great grandchildren that she loved you very much. That Irene wanted the very best for you. I know that you brought her joy and that you were her hope in the difficult years of Sheila’s life. I know she will watch over you from her place in heaven.
I believe in the God of Evolution, the Mystery that holds us. We all hold both joy and suffering and seek healing from emotional and spiritual wounds of life. We have no control over who are parents were, nor many circumstances in which we find ourselves and live out our lives.
We can make different choices than those who have come before us.
We can build on the gifts and strengths of our family members.
We need help from our family, friends, and professionals.
We need to be honest and forgiving and caring toward our selves.
I know that each one of us here is loved, now, today
As we read Ecclesiastes we know we can heal and grow
We can say “Yes” to building, to laughing, to planting, to dancing
Over and over we can begin again
Living a life fully with its joys, suffering and happiness,
Irene lived as a first born Polish American generation in this country,
Through the Depression, WWII, the tumultuous 60’s,
Her working career
Her marriage,
Her life as mother and wife, sister, friend,
Grandmother and great grandmother,
A single woman after divorce,
and through out her life.
We too are called to live fully,
learning and growing in the knowledge of who we are
Until as Irene we rest with our family who have gone before us
In eternal peace.
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