I Receive My Medicare Card or I Celebrate my 65th

I didn't want my Medicare Day to get too far in the past.
The Christmas holidays are now officially over as we celebrate Epiphany tomorrow.
Friends from Pax Christi got together tonight to celebrate. They started a new tradition "Bring a gift as a king/queen" exchange. Choose a book, CD or DVD from your collection that you want to share with others. I took "Yes Sir, No Sir" the story of the Vietnam Era Vets who protested against their war and whom the IVAW take as their model. The man who chose it said he'd wanted to watch it but never took it out from Blockbuster.

Anyway, I was feeling upset about my birthday being alone for the first time in my life. For the past ten years we have celebrated at Lisa's as the final closing to our Christmas visit. The grandchildren sing a rousing chorus of "Happy Birthday." I missed that this year. So I woke up knowing I had to attend a meeting and thought, "I won't get a cake unless I buy one." So I bought this fabulous Raspberry Chocolate Marble cake. Really, really good, and took it to the meeting. The folks sang me a Polish blessing, I had heard before but can't tell you. It is wishes for a 100 years. I really liked it. We ate the cake and sent the remainder to a Mexican family with lots of members and not much money. I thought that was good to let others share in the celebration.

Then it was off to see a couple of patients, help a neighbor to plan a funeral for her dad-I'll preside for her, then I attended a wake for a man with Down's syndrome who lived to be 70. So I spent the day being a hospice chaplain, a ministry that I love. I hope I was also a blessing for all those I met and minister with.

I came home and Lisa and children called me to sing me a "Happy Birthday!" It was so good to hear their voices! and I must say now that they are 10, 9 and 6 they sound a lot better. Lisa was proud of them. She talked about singing Christmas carols next year.

We chatted for a while then it was time to call it a day on my 65th. People ask, "How is it?"
I have to laugh as I KNOW (as a hospice chaplain), really know the alternative to not celebrating getting older. Because of my decision to divorce I know equally as true I am mentally and spiritually and emotionally more alive, healthier and happy for the first time. I am at peace ALL of the time. My Pax Christi group asked me what I had learned in my 65 years, "I have learned to not fear and to take risks" I didn't add aloud "To trust my own heart and intuition and to leave a relationship that is unhealthy." That is what I have learned and am learning still. God will guide me; doors will open, others will shut. I truly feel that the decisions I make from now on will be good. Any decision that I make will be life giving. It is if I am before a buffet of "what I can do" and all the possibilities are good ones. Any choice I make will be pleasing to God; it is up to me. I hope in my next entry to write about some of the alternatives.

My one disappointment for this birthday is that I did not receive any wishes from Jason-not a card, email or call. I feel badly but know that I cannot aid in his emotional and spiritual healing, Jason must want it and choose to do the difficult work healing entails. Jason must reach out toward me, I would never reject him. I hold Jason and Jodi in my prayers and send them good thoughts. It is enough, I know my life's mistakes; my ignorance is gone on the winds of time. I work and live for peace.

I hope to write about my Faith and Resistance Retreat from12/26 to 12/31 in Washington DC with the Jonah House and Catholic Worker House folks. It truly was a blessing for me and I enjoyed every moment of it.

Happy, Happy New Year everyone.
PS: The settlement is being reviewed by Dow and lawyer. We should hear back pretty soon. Then it goes to the judge for signing. I feel that it is almost over. Then I have to write a will, get a power of attorney, change my name, etc., etc.